Loving is Complicated
When a sermon follows you to lunch.
I love preaching – everything about it. I love the prep work – reading the lectionary texts, scouring my spiritual life for some connection, praying my way through the chaos of different threads until a clear picture starts to emerge. Every sermon starts for me with a “beginnings” document – a place where I collect random quotes and thoughts and insights that will eventually cohere into a singular message. I love the actual process of preaching – looking out into the sea of faces, making them laugh, watching as a light comes on in their eyes when they hear something that connects for them – possibly even a word from God specifically for them. It is magical and I’m always sad when it’s over.
This past Sunday, the message was “Will We Be Quick to Love?” I had heard a song that included the lyric “If the Father’s quick to love why aren’t we?” Our church is in the “in-between-times” of one pastor’s retirement and the next pastor’s arrival – a liminal space of sorts. Liminal spaces – neither here nor there but in transition – have become familiar territory for me. I’ve begun to feel at home in the discomfort of it all. And so standing in a pulpit and asking my friends to join me in the discomfort felt like the right thing to do. Will we be quick to love the new pastor? Will we be quick to love those around us also living in the chaos that is our country in these days? It was (she says humbly) a good sermon and people responded well to it.
After church I went to lunch with Gracie, Abby and Scott and my friend Kym. We went to the Marietta Square Market Food Hall. We love it there – so many yummy choices and really good people-watching. I knew what I wanted so I ordered and chose a table while everyone else wandered and decided. I was seated near a young family – mom, dad and daughter – maybe 15 months old. In the 10 minutes before my family joined me at the table I couldn’t avoid overhearing that family’s interactions. The mom was focused on the baby – getting her settled, fixing her food, etc. The dad seemed to be focused on criticizing the mom. Nothing she did was right. “Why did you do that? Why won’t you even taste it? What’s wrong with you?” Honestly, it made me mad. I’ve been the mom of a 15-month-old daughter. I understand the exhaustion and energy it takes to just survive each day. Why would her partner feel the need to belittle her in public. I was feeling pretty judgy.
My family joined me one by one and we enjoyed our food and laughter. We talked about the Braves game that was being replayed on the big screen nearby. We made plans to go to the French bakery after lunch to pick up some pastries for the rest of the week. The young family left just before we did. Once they were gone I told the fam what I had seen and heard and how I wished I could smack that man upside the head. Scott said “that doesn’t sound too loving.”
Wow.
The lyrics of the song said “If the Father’s quick to love, why aren’t we? We who have had much forgiven should give as we receive. But we withhold Amazing Grace and shame a wretch like me.” Living what we believe is complicated. I easily loved the mom – cared about what was happening to her – but not the dad, the one doing the harm. And Jesus’ words floated in the air around me… From Luke chapter 6:
“If you love only the people who love you, what praise should you get? Even sinners love the people who love them.” (Luke 6:32 NCV)
The Message puts it this way:
If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.
I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind. (Luke 6:32-36 The Message)
So my wise friend Scott (I sincerely hope someday I’ll be able to call him my son-in-law) called me out and reminded me that preaching isn’t just about putting some pretty words together. Preaching is about living the pretty words myself, even after the sermon is over.
In these crazy times, I’m going to do my best to find ways to love. “…because love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)
Blessings Beloved. God loves you and I’m doing my best too.
Nakupenda Sana. Bwana Asifiwe.
Selah.
Cathy
PS - here is the sermon in question:
Always worth the read